It is often said that knowledge is power, the more you know the better you are. I am a firm believer in this concept and have pursued it adamantly since I was a child. According to my mother, I would spend my summers frantically studying for the next grade afraid that I wouldn't know anything about the grade I was going into. I have always been an advocate for learning, for expanding my mind, my base, my character. And when the subject is foreign to me, I throw myself into research, to better equip myself against the greater unknown. This is my driving force, it is an innate part of my being. Ask anyone and they will tell you, most undoubtedly, how terribly annoying my search for knowledge and my tireless questions and analysis will drive most sane people to the brink.
Unfortunately, during my quests, I may lose site of my original objective and make the focus of my research into a project instead of a person. That is where I currently find myself. I fear that I am turning you into a project, something that needs to be solved or fixed. I have to remind myself that you are a person, no matter how broken or lost you may be, or I may be for that matter, we are not projects. I am not here to fix you. I am here to love you, to support you and stand by your side through it all.
I delve into knowledge to better understand your disorder, which has given me greater understanding of my own. It is allowing me to see past the hurt, the bitterness, the anger and to see you through it all once again.