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Friday, October 21, 2011

Longing...

I am consumed with thoughts of you. I can not escape them. They take me over in my sleep, they invade my daydreams. I want you in ways that I can not express, but am consoled to hold that longing deep within while it eats away at my resolve. No longer do I have to close my eyes to feel the silkenness of your touch on my skin. The hair along my arm stands on end at the simple thought of it. I long to feel the heat of your kiss, to taste the sweetness of your tongue as it caresses my own...melding my body into yours, burning with a desire that transcends time and space.
It has been far too long since we have felt each other, since we have been one. It is painful, too much to put into words. We avoid it because we can not have it, but oh, my love, if our minds brought to light the true connection of our beings, we would burst into flame at the slightest touch.
I can not have you, can not be one with you...so I strengthen my resolve to be content with the slightest touch, that burns my very soul.

My love, my life, my soul...forever am I yours.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Thinking Out Loud

Several things have occurred to me lately, that had not done so before. For instance, what is family to me? I used to believe it was blood, oh so very very long ago. Then I believed it was friends....Now I find myself somewhere in the middle, believing that family is what you make it and who you choose to surround yourself with. Blood is simply an entity that fills human beings and makes life possible, it does not create an unbreakable bond between individuals anymore than the same last name does. My family, as it were, consists of my boyfriend, my dogs, my immediate family and a handful of old friends. I joined part of a mc support club to join my boyfriend, but am never included in the activities due to my work schedule. This is what they call family? Pretty jacked up version, very close to my blood relatives that I have nothing to do with. Granted, I can rarely make it, so I understand being forgotten; but if you let me know what is going on, I can possibly make arrangements to join in, instead of being excluded. It totally sucks! And they call this a sisterhood? Do they even have a clue what that means? Apparently not. C'est la vie! No love lost, just lost time with my boyfriend who is always gone due to this conglomerant that I am slowly starting to detest. I understand why he needs it, but I don't. I need him, my home and my faith. I'm okay with that. I can't join him most of the time due to work and my physical limitations do not allow me to join him even when I'm not working. He has tried to include me and I love him for that, but it has turned into one more thing that we can't have together. I'm starting to wonder what is left????