Role Models

I spoke recently with my mother regarding my project of "Becoming G.I. Jane" in complete contrast of "Becoming Jane", though I guess they do hold similiar concepts of becoming something other than one's present state of being. I spoke to her of the qualities of the woman that I desire to become like and the response I received was "you know why she is that way...because it was written in the script". She found it amusing that I desired to become like a movie star. I giggled at her perception, because it has absolutely no bearing on anything.

G. I. Jane - the epitome of everything I have held dear since I was a small child. The military has been my main stay since I was little. I have held it on a pedastal, the absolute highest regard, even though my own career with the armed forces was cut short. I used to look stary eyed at my Dad's dress uniforms, Drill Instructor hat, cadence tapes, etc. I loved going with him to training and even requested of him to treat me like one of his soldiers. I kept my bunk in tip top shape and trained with him when he would let me. I recall during Desert Storm, while in Utah with my family (My Dad was in Ft. Benning, GA training troops), standing at attention and saluting the convoy of military vehicles passing me. I have always revered the military and wanted nothing more than to be a solider my whole life.
The first chance I got to enlist, I did so, even requiring consent of both my parents to do so before my 17th birthday. I kept my gear in check. Fell into stride in boot camp, rising to squad leader quickly and loving every single minute of it. My body on the other hand did not rise to the challenge.
I connected myself with the military through means of other people after that. I have always had friends and lovers in the military. It is home to me. Even now, being single, I seek out a soldier for a mate. There is something so seductive about the uniform, the attitude and candor behind it; the class, the moral fortitude, the heart of the individual that wears it. That is who I am on the inside and it is who I long to be near.
I have always envisioned myself as G.I. Jane (as opposed to G.I. Joe, whom I played religiously with as a child). I am not government issued. I am a grand individual. Strong, independant, trustworthy...everything that is important to me is embodied in the woman that this portrays. My insides, my character is strong. I wish my body to be the same. I do not care if I am an adonis or gorgeous, I simple want to be strong. I want my insides to match my outsides. Strong.

So...back to my original question. How does one become G.I. Jane? I think my path is becoming clearer and clearer. Lord, lead me where I shall fulfill my purpose for which I was created. I follow my heart and your will. Hoo Rah!