"Grandpa, tell me bout the good ole' days, when the line between right and wrong didn't seem so hazy" That song is running over and over in my mind as I am once again faced with mediocrity and sexism in the guise of professionalism. When I first started, I was a person, a very talented person that had worthy ideas and was going somewhere. Now, I am politely told over and over to "shut my mouth, we are not interested in any of your experience or ideas. You're a woman, learn your place". I'm sorry, those words have never set well with me and have a tendency to bring out my fighting side. All I feel now is anger, in a place that I used to find joy and satisfaction, there is nothing but disgust. I am so tired of fighting this fight, everywhere I go, I fight it. My ex told me once, you don't have to try so hard to fight the world. ....
Don't I? Have you ever once walked in my shoes? Have you ever wanted to be simply a person that was regarded for their character, their intelligence, their contribution? But was never seen as anything but their gender? Tell me that I don't have to fight, when that is all I do. If I don't fight, that means I settle for mediocrity and dismissal. It means I fade into the shadows and allow them to make me into nothing. THAT IS SOMETHING I WILL NEVER DO!!
I am a fighter and I am tired, but I will never stop fighting. I am a PERSON! Damnit, see me for that, truly see me and you might learn something. Continue to dismiss me and you will always be less than you could be, because your mind is closed.
Songs keep running thru my head: You'll never be anything but mean; Rise Above This; Free.... and the list goes on.
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