Do you ever feel like you need to re-evaluate your position, your life? You are heading in one direction, then something changes and you have to shift your perspective. It's not a bad thing, just an adjustment. It's funny how life experiences change how you relate to those around you. Lessons learned in a previous life keep me at arms length in this one; safe, solid and reliant upon no one but myself. Granted, I live, love and learn with passion, but I hang on to myself, not allowing any piece of me to get totally caught up and swept away.
I'm not the only one that does this, I've noticed. It is a rather rampant trait the older we get, the more experiences we have. Our relationships are deeper, founded upon more substantial characteristics than those of our youth. They are not so trivial, there is less drama, less roller-coaster. These are lives of our own making and we are content within them.
So, I find myself pulling back in, not away. No, definitely not away, just back inside myself. There is a roller-coaster, an uncertainty in the future..which is to be expected in your position, I am acutely aware of that. I will support and stand beside you in everything that you do; my resolve, my loyalty, my love will not falter. But I withdraw into myself, planning and holding on to me...not centering my life around you. This is what defines us both, our independence. And it is ultimately what ties us together, what bonds us, what makes us vulnerable to one another. It is the very essence of our love and our life.
I wouldn't trade one single moment.
No comments:
Post a Comment