How much more am I willing to stand? How many more lies, deceptions and hidden secrets am I willing to accept as part of a condition? When does it become too much?
Love, real love, endures. It stands the test of time, human faults and everything in between. It is not jealous, it is not possessive. It is patient, it is kind, it is strong and unyielding.
I am learning that lesson, every single day, every moment. I am changing, I am going through a metamorphosis. I have never felt like an adult, always felt like a child trapped inside an aging body. Though my soul was much older than my physical being, my heart was innocent and child like. Perhaps because of the things I endured as a child, I was locked in that state of mind. But I find myself blossoming and growing, truly finding out what the meaning of love and commitment really are.
I have transcended the levels he is at, been there done that so to speak. It is not time to be demanding, it is not time to be possessive or jealous. It is within me to withstand the non-sensical motions of past traumas to lead to a better future.
So, to answer my own question...How much more am I willing to or able to stand?
As much as it takes.
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